names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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