he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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