Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize