i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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