someone owes me an orgasm
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize