I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
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I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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