i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Be still, my beating vagina.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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