You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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