Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize