dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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