You're so nebulous sometimes
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
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I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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