The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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