Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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