your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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