i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize