Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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