were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize