I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize