They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize