apparently the secret to your success is patron
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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