Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize