I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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