Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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