K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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