if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i think im in europe. pls send help
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