weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize