I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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