Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize