Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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