There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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