have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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