I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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