So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
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Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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