Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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