How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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