Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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