the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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