sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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