I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am naked and annoyed.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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