Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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