we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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