someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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