Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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