walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Will exercising make me less horny?
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