My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize