Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
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He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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