Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize