you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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