So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
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