what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's like iHOP with fire
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize